Tis the season to cuffing

It’s that time of the year again, where we all get together to stuff our faces and introduce a significant other maybe to the rest of our family? But for me I’m busting through the doors with an extra tall glass of wine in one hand filled to the tippy top and my fabulous sense of humor in the other hand. Because whose solo again this year….

Me, it’s me. This girl right here.

Now you may think this bothers me, boyfriendless at thanksgiving three years in row. But actually it brings quite a heap of joy to know that I’m technically winning at something. My mom on the other hand wanted me to have babies yesterday so she could have grandkids, but sorry mom I’m flying solo until that extra special someone walks right into me like the door I walked into earlier.

Too be honest I like being a free agent, because cuffing season is approaching people.

I repeat CUFFING SEASON IS APPROACHING…

So, if you’re talking to someone the odds are in your favor they may become your boyfriend/girlfriend pretty damn soon.

And if you’re like, “Ali, how the heck do you know that?”

Well, first off I have a dating blog so that makes me already at least statistically 10 times smarter in this department, and second it’s science.

Don’t believe me? Let’s do a little recon on your past. So if you go back in time and take a gander down memory lane, there’s a good chance you started talking to your significant other between September- November. And officially started dating anywhere from November-December. If you haven’t had this happen with any of your exes then you’re like the one percent.

So, if you’re in that weird dating/ talking phase during the holiday season and you’re trying to figure out if this person is the one, don’t fret because I am here to help.

Here are 5 tips to land all the way into the end zone.

If you don’t get puns… here are 5 tips on how to know if you’re getting cuffed this holiday season.

1. Bring this person to thanksgiving dinner.

So, here’s a big thing you can do together to see if it’s at that serious point. If he/she says no then yes it might be too soon but don’t get upset about that, honesty is the best policy. But if this person goes with you and it ends well… you’re about to get super cuffed and not just in the bedroom. A couple reasons on why they might want to go with you to thanksgiving dinner is to obviously meet your parents, they don’t want to be away from you during the holidays and because it’s actually kind of getting SERIOUS.

Key word being serious...

And meeting each other’s parents is an important step, and some would even say before you have that title of boyfriend or girlfriend. I don’t know about you but before I date someone I like to know the ins and outs before I secure that title. I once watched this movie where the significant others parents were serial killers, so like you never know.

I completely know that last sentence was high key dramatic. But I rather be high key alive then low key dead.

2. If they bring you around their friends

So, when I like someone after the first few dates I like to bring them around my friends. Because at the end of the day our friends can usually see red flags when we can’t see them even when they are right in front of our faces, and also you want to date someone that vibes well with your friends. We all know that one person that has that crazy significant other that no one wants to be around.

Don’t be that person.. you’re dating an ass…

So, usually the all clear from my friends means some extra points for whoever the lucky guy might be. So, if they bring you around their friends it is a test, pass the test and you’re one step closer to victory.

3. You confide in them about everything.

If this is the person you call for not only the bad things but for the good things too, there’s a good chance you’re getting a little extra something for Christmas this season. You call them because you saw something that reminded you of them or you just want to hear their voice or tell them about your day. It’s time to put a label on that. When you get off work, and sit in your car and if they are the first thought on your mind, I think it’s quite clear you’re about to be in a relationship my friend.

4. You have that ” we’re exclusive chat.”

So for some reason in this day and age us, “millennials,” have to drag this whole dating thing out because that is just our culture. Back in the day if you were exclusive that meant you were boyfriend and girlfriend. Today that means, you’re not official but you’re not seeing anyone else. So, for the boomers that read this I think we are all clarified on this garbage hookup culture grammar.

Back to my point, if you have that “were exclusive chat,” that means that person cares about you in a way that they don’t want to hook up with anyone else, and that is a win, take the win. Because any guy that only wants to stick his penis in one place, that means you are definitely special. And this chat also means, the thought of you being with someone else makes them jealous. And a jealous mate only means one thing, you’re getting closer to the gold.

And I saved my favorite for last…

5. You feel completely yourself around them and they are too...

Isn’t it the most amazing feeling to feel completely at home with someone. You could be your most goofiest self and they love you for that. Walking around in no make up in pjs and eating junk food and laughing with someone that sees you for you all the way to your core and doesn’t judge you is someone that is going to wife you the f up. Because they love you for you even if they don’t know it yet, and that is the best kind of feeling to have.

Alright love birds out there, if you’re reading this and you checked every mark on this list, go get your girl or man and make it official, show them off like a hospital bracelet on Snapchat. Because cuffing season is here and some of you need a little help in the the love department.

Stop wasting your time on the what if’s and let your heart have a win. This holiday season you deserve to be happy and you deserve to get what you want, so make it happen. Because if you wait too long there’s someone else out there that will happily take your place.

Also just a friendly PSA: if you make it past February, specifically the 14th as an official couple you’re in it for the long haul.

Stay tuned next week, there may or may not be some shit talking.

Advice of the week: When you’re family starts fighting at thanksgiving dinner, have your exit route engraved in your brain and run like the turkey did.

Happy thanksgiving 🦃🍁

#sorrynotsorry

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