You know that thing when you meet someone, a complete stranger and then one day they are this important person in your story. It’s like wow, universe you really know how to write an amazing lifetime movie. You never know the impact of how one person can change your life completely for either the good the bad or just a very minuscule detail. And if I’m being honest I’m still figuring out what the motive is for this one. I never thought in a million and one thousand years I would ever and I mean EVER like this boy I will eventually maybe tell you about one day.
I mean I just never felt it, thought about it, it just was not a thing where I was like this guy is the one for me. But here we are in the fabulous life of Ali Baker where things aren’t always what they seem. Okay, so fine I like him, here I am admitting things out loud. At least I can admit things can’t say the same for him. But for a long time, I didn’t want to believe it, because by admitting I liked this person I think I knew deep down it may cause me some type of pain one day. But here I am being all kinds of predictable.
And I know you haven’t heard from me for a long time but what better way to share my private thoughts and stories then to broadcast them on the internet. As we all know, if you have followed along with the blogs or just know my life, I don’t do this thing where I like someone, I usually just find someone to hold my attention and when they get too close I move on to the next or just do my own thing. I was never one to need a guy or want one. I guess some could say there’s some underlying issues there, but I like to think I’m an independent boss lady bitch that needs no man.
But in four whole years there has been nothing quite like this and it’s actually intriguing, even I surprise myself. Because I’m still trying to figure out if it’s the idea of him or him as a person that I like or maybe I’m just not getting what I want… I can be a brat I’ll cop to that one. But we have time lots of time to figure that out. Quoting a friend of mine, “this is one big messy mess you got yourself into.” So, do I see happy endings in my future, no not at all but I guess we won’t know that until the very end. And if you just started reading these blogs, you’re probably wondering why I’m so doom and gloom well you should scroll all the way to the bottom of the main page because you are in for a treat.
Stories always start somewhere and everything leads to something much like a big ole domino affect. So, I guess my story starts way back in Los Angeles, California.
Sit down relax and enjoy the next installment of #sorrynotsorry
Here I am a brand new Los Angeles gal trying to figure out what to do with my life. The first month consisted on going on tinder and/or bumble dates for free food because I did not want to waste my money and still needed to land a day time job, which I would eventually get. But before that my life was a swinging door of dates. I went on a date with a basketball player, a teacher, a hipster, a young trust fund baby, there was many and making the same conversation over and over again is amazingly awful. I would never do anything with any of them it was all about the food, you don’t want to see me hangry. And sure that sounds not the most lady like thing to do, but saving money was in my best interest moving across the whole damn country and all. So, dinner dates was the way to go for me.
One date actually turned into someone that I would say became my friend, sure we made out and maybe still chat and maybe he was a tad bit younger but he was the most lively soul I met in awhile and I was intrigued by that. I didn’t know what it was that attracted me to this younger guy but I wasn’t upset by it. We had so much fun, at my rooftop pool, out at the bars. He just made me feel more at home then I did in long time. I was homesick and all I had was memories from home, my cat and a few new friends I was slowly meeting from work.
We went out to bars and I saw the whole downtown Hollywood area, I was living my dream and he was making all the homesickness go away. But we all know I have this thing where I go for the guy with red flags all over him. And no offense but this was red flag central. I do this thing sometimes where I can definitely see the red flags and kind of just over look them. I’m known as a fixer which I now find as a toxic trait of mine, it’s probably why I pick all the wrong guys. I pick the ones that need to be fixed. I’m like a homeless shelter for guys with issues.
Anyways, he was fun but I started to realize what the eff am I doing. I’m 25 years old, I’m not going to marry this guy, I don’t even want to date this guy. We had a lot of fun but I started to meet other people and make a lot of friends and I really didn’t need him in my life anymore. I guess that’s fucked up to say but I wasn’t going to waste my time and energy on someone I could never see myself with. I tried to be his friend but he couldn’t do that. It was time to bring out the secret weapon which the millennials call “ghosting.” And hey it works well, I can actually say from my own experience where one of my ex boyfriends didn’t even break up with me he just stopped talking to me like we were in middle school.
It’s funny now, you can laugh, I’m laughing… it’s fine.
Meanwhile, ghosting seemed to be working and plus I started a new job and one of my coworkers seemed to be just the right distraction I needed. You’re about to be introduced to the one I call the Cuban.
Advice of the week: Don’t listen to the fuss of the world around you, listen to yourself. Because at the end of the day you know what’s best for you, you don’t need the projection of haters weighing in.