As 2018 comes to close, and 2019 inches closer and closer, there comes that time of year when New Year’s resolutions become a new trend and everyone wants the starter pack. But if you are feeling lonely this 2018 and you are wondering why, don’t worry I am here to be your love doctor and to make sure 2019 will not be a lonely one but you must make a few New Year’s resolutions to in sure that the next New Year you will be right next to your partner and crime ready to party the night away. Finding the right person is hard but at the end of the day it’s all trial and error and though that can be exhausting, it usually works out in our favor. We don’t want to be alone, we choose to be. It’s programmed into our DNA to want to find someone to cozy up with, to have taco eating contests, to binge watch game of thrones, or even adopt a few puppies with. So, here are Six New Year’s resolutions to start your year off right and find that love you deserve!
You know the Phrase, “good things come to those who wait?” Well, it’s true. Do you remember all the times in your life you were actively looking for someone and you either always attracted the wrong kind of people are things just never worked out? And then the times you were just happy living your life and boom, the right person falls into your lap? Yeah, that’s called fate, so stop messing with it and let it do it’s damn thing. I swear if fate was a person it would literally slap you to knock some sense into you. But she can’t come to the phone right now, so I’m here to knock some sense into with words. And I’m not saying you can’t go out and look for a hook up because that’s fine everyone has there needs. I mean I have needs for an unlimited supply of tacos but you don’t see me binge eating. To find what you are looking for don’t constantly sleep around to find it that will not solve your problems either.
2. STOP SETTLING
Oh, if I had a dime every time I saw one of my friends stay with someone because they were comfortable not because the person treated them well, I would be on the Forbes cover for billionaires under 30. Stop staying with people that are toxic, negative, downright selfish assholes that only care about themselves! I know, it’s easier said than done. But, if you could only see the other side of the hill after the hump. The one where you are happy and smiling all the time, instead of having anxiety all day or feeling helpless. That is no way to live my friend. PLEASE have the courage to walk away and be okay on your own. That is where you become your own person, a strong person who knows what they want. And that is when the right one will come along to show you what you have been missing. I stayed with so many guys because I thought I could change them, or make them take the next step or because I was comfortable and it was easier to deal with this crap then be myself and start from the beginning. But I am a strong independent woman and look at me now, living my best life… HELLO 2019! Let the love in and let that negative shit be gone like the wind.
3. Stop Rushing things and let the river flow
Women always talk about having this clock, it ticks and ticks until it drives them crazy, which inevitably makes them pick the wrong guy. This clock is no longer a thing, I mean with today’s technology and science people are having healthy babies in their fifties. Stop listening to the crazy clock and listen to your heart. Stop rushing into marriages for the wrong reasons and wait for the right one. Hey, I don’t know maybe even don’t get married just because you had a kid together and you think you have too. STOP jumping before looking. I highly guarantee the ones that wait, really wait and think and learn to love, those are the relationships that will win. Say it with me people, I WILL NOT RUSH INTO THINGS. Now have that as your morning mantra for the next 365 days and let me know what happens.
4. Stop looking for love in material things
Remember that 80’s movie can’t buy me love when Patrick dempsey played the lawn mowing nerd and he was the one that got the girl in the end and they rode off into the sunset on the lawn mower. If that didn’t teach you people anything then literally watch every other 80’s rom com and write me a five page essay and tell me the moral of the story, and add a works cited because I’m that kind of teacher. The point is don’t date people for their money, or because they take you out on expensive dinners, and show you the good life. Date someone because they know what makes you mad and how to fix it, or the kind of soul food you need when you had a bad day, the ones that take you to that shitty hole in the wall bar because you like the five dollar beer and the great people watching. Yes, nice dinners, jewelry and all the finer things are great. But at the end of the day it is just you two and that is all that matters.
5. Don’t be afraid to tell someone how you feel!
Okay, so this one is my favorite one. And it took me years to have enough balls to do this. Stop Hiding behind your feelings, do not be afraid of the what ifs or being turned down. Because guess what that will happen, your feelings will get hurt but the point is you said how you feel and now it’s out there and if that person doesn’t feel the same way, then keep it moving, they were not the one for you anyways. I use to hide all my feelings inside and let guys walk all over me or even the opposite I would let the good ones go because I couldn’t scream from the rooftops, “ I LIKE YOU!” But once I found that power of speaking my truth and not being afraid of the consequences it was a whole new world, and now my mouth doesn’t shut. If I like you oh you’ll know it. If I love you I’m going to scream it from Mount Everest and well if I dislike you my mom always taught me if I have nothing nice to say I shouldn’t say anything at all but side note you will know, Sorry Mom. Remember do not be afraid of something that hasn’t happened yet, don’t hold emotions in. Be open and forthcoming with the ones you care about and I promise you 2019 will be the best love year yet.
6. I will love myself first
And the most important one, no one can love you, if you do not love yourself first. You have heard it before, and you are going to hear it again. When you don’t love yourself, people can tell. It’s very easy to give off those vibes especially when you’re in a relationship. If you don’t know what love is, how can you give it to anyone else. I know it’s hard sometimes but you have to tell yourself, you are loved, you are appreciated, you are wonderful, smart, and anyone would be the luckiest person on the planet to be in your atmosphere. Don’t find the love you think you deserve, find the love you absolutely without a doubt deserve.
Okay boys and girls I think you are ready to go out into the world of 2019 and make these New Year’s resolutions a real thing. YOU have to be the change to see the change. Damn, I am a quoting machine. But in all seriousness, it took me awhile to abide to all these Resolutions so I know it doesn’t happen overnight but I promise you when you do make these small changes you will see the results, you will find that right person but don’t rush. You have your whole life to fall in love and have seven kids and be a soccer mom or dad. Just find that right person first and the rest will fall into your lap and you will be that couple we are all shipping. (for all the old folk, shipping- a couple we want to be like). We can do this, now repeat after me,
“On this New Year, I will make these resolutions to find the right kind of love, I will stop chasing, I will stop settling, I will stop rushing the process, I will stop loving for material things, I will not be afraid to say how I feel and most importantly I will love myself first.”
Happy New Year’s my friends!