Just saying hi

   

Lets start off by getting reacquainted

I’m Ali the girl that talks about her horrible dating life so you don’t have too, sound familiar? Well, I’ve been away from my desk for awhile because I thought it was about time, to live a little and not get poisoned by yet another fuck boy, clearly they’re like mosquitoes because those little shits are every where.

That extended vacation without sleepless nights wondering why Joe Shmo wasn’t texting me or why all my extremely awful exes have girlfriends, or for the fact that my “friends” still find the need to sleep with the same guy I’m talking too, made me realize one thing… I’m fucking awesome. My new favorite phrase is “baby back bitch,” this is what I will proceed to call most of the guys I’m about to talk about. Either A, they were brought up very wrong and their mother didn’t teach them normal gentlemanly skills which turned them into the baby back they are today or B they are actually just immature, dumb and have little man syndrome.

And no this is not me hating on every man in the universe just specifically the ones that walked through  my life and made a big ole mess. So, prepare yourself for a lot of giggles because if you thought I couldn’t hold back before well welcome to volume two or which is I like to call it, Ali takes no prisoners.

Take your seats and please let me formally re introduce douche bag numero uno my ex boyfriend. I thought I’d start off with him because he was such a big part of the last series and well I rather get him over with first because he sucks big balls, but wish you well bud!

So, after falling, madly deeply in lust….

Key word being lust, then are inevitable split took place, then for a year trying to figure out if I liked him or not, (if you have to try and figure out if you like someone over a year span, leave the poor kid alone) we finally ended it, and literally a month later he had a new girlfriend to mend his little but soon to be fuck boy heart. Long story short that relationship ended for him and he came crawling back, and I missed him and all the things we use to do and I trusted him something that a lot of people don’t normally get from me.

We spent the next two weeks together, and that came to a close real quick when he stopped answering my calls and texts, then finally told me three days later he didn’t love me and wanted to be back with his girlfriend. This is where the phrase comes in handy…

What a baby back bitch

Then he called me and begged me to not tell his GIRLFRIEND what he had been doing. I almost lost my damn mind. First you’re basically breaking up with me, then stabbing me in the back with the I don’t love you and then proceeding to water board me with the don’t tell my girlfriend part. He had some nerve that’s for sure. Don’t worry I definitely told his girlfriend and they are happily still together which I’m sure is one trusting loyal relationship. Okay now that that whole vomity part is out of the way on to the more juicer stuff, ***quick note it’s about to get R rated***

like having sex in a recording studio, that will go down in the best place to have sex ever book.

But first let’s start off PG rated with a little excerpt I like to call rocking the cradle.

*Side note the below boy was not a fuck boy.*

He was tall, handsome, had a beard and we all know how I feel about beards. The only problem about it was that he was two years younger then me, lived in a freshman dorm which was in Fort Myers, and was too good to be true.

I met him on New years and thought he was the cutest guy in the room. Being tall and having a beard was hot and I wanted to know more about him.

 

Flash forward and we ended up meeting thanks to my girlfriend who was our mutual friend and we actually hit it off. Since his time home was short meaning the break was almost over and he had to go back to school, we didn’t take things very slow. No, I did not have sex with him I had only known him for a like a week guys! You and you’re nasty minds. We hung out the whole weekend, laughed, made out hard and cuddled. See totally PG.

He even invited me to visit him up at school, which was a stretch for me because the only boy I had ever visited was my sociopath ex boyfriend, so driving to see some boy I had only known for two weeks max was a big deal.

I drove two hours in a car to see this lucky son of bitch.

When I got there I basically jumped in his arms, I let my guard down around him because having walls up for so long you just want to be able to breathe and being with him well breathing was easy. Over the weekend he was moving a little too fast for me, he changed the background of his phone to us and he wanted to have sex like every possible second, is this how the kids are these days? Well, you guessed it I got scared like I always do and ran home.

I Literally drove all the way home a day early, wtf is wrong with me.

I needed a nice guy like him and what did I do I ruined this one so basically I’m the fuck boy in this situation.

Fuck boys come and go but having sex in a recording studio will forever be imprinted into my brain…

meet low key fuck boy

to be continued…

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