Chapter 9 of #sorrynotsorry

  
                       Safe Haven  

     Since funny guy and I proved to be nothing more than friends which eventually turned into more of a brother and sister relationship. I thought it was time to move on. Yeah he was funny, nice and played a guitar but really I was just settling and I knew deep down I would never be happy with Mr. funny guy in the long run. Our relationship easing back into friends was actually really easy and no one really asked any questions. Which was good because questions just make things complicated. My friend jenny was hanging out with Mr. funny guys roommate and I thought they would make a cute couple. They kissed a couple of times but I guess the chemistry was off because she wasn’t feeling it and I don’t think he was either. And if you’re wondering why I’m talking about Jenny and the roommate just wait it all ties in. A couple weeks went by and the crew and I were probably the best of friends. We partied together, vacationed together, and even had group sleepovers together. Yes, I know completely weird but it was so much fun. We were the best of friends but something would rock the boat sooner or later I just didn’t think I would be involved in the rocking. 

     I started to get really close to Mr. funny guys roommate. He was even more funny then funny guy himself. And the way he held himself well I really liked it. He had great charisma and I was drawn to it but just in a friendly sort of way. I remember I was sitting at work and well let’s call him Drew. Drew texted me. Which was totally normal because we were friends. He asked if I wanted to go out for happy hour the Friday coming up and I thought yeah why not, it’s the happiest of hours. I didn’t really think much into the whole going out for drinks we were just friends. And I didn’t ask him if others were going too because I thought it was obvious there would be other people joining us. As the days grew closer I started to seem a little excited and at the time I thought it was just because of the cheap alcohol I was illegally about to consume. Me and Drew drove together and I soon found out it was just us two going. Which wasn’t weird to me because two friends that are the opposite sex can hang out and it can be casual right? That night was probably the best night I ever had. It topped the list. I drank so much I was at the point of puking. So, I would drink some water and carry on with another beer after. Makes total sense to a drunk person. We bar hopped, we laughed, I flicked off a police officer while absolutely obliterated, I honestly thought I had met my new best friend. The next day I woke up totally hung over, in total zombie mode. The only word I could speak was water. As I sat up and downed a whole bottle of water, little bits and pieces came back to me about the night before. The whole flicking off a cop and twerking in front of his car made me want to roll over and die. Side note- I don’t twerk. Then I remembered something a little bit confusing to me, Drew put his arm around me. I mean do friends put their arms around other friends? I started to silently freak out. I didn’t know if he was just being Drew and being nice or if he was flirting with me. And if he was flirting with me, was I flirting back? Oh god this is when everything got complicated. But I shook it off that day and just acted like the same old Ali. I wasn’t going to let all my thinking get in the way of a possible friendship. Because if you been reading I sort of have a problem with falling for guys I’m actually not falling for. Which I guess you could call me Miss settler herself. And this time around just because a boy is nice to me and made me laugh I wasn’t going to make it complicated by actually liking them. Me and Drew were just friends that’s all, forever, nothing more period.

 
     Fine guys, I like him. I suck I know. But ever since that night we got drinks everything felt different. I denied to everyone else I liked him. To the outside world we were just friends and I was wondering if Drew thought the same thing too. It all changed dramatically one night at a concert. I remember being hammered, dancing and having the time of my life. I remember just being so happy singing to some rap song I barely knew trying to fit in with the crowd. And that’s when it happened. “It” being a kiss. And yes with Drew. After weeks of not knowing what the heck I was feeling or what was going on. He grabbed me forcefully as I was dancing away, spun me around, pulled me into his arms and kissed me. He really kissed me, and I felt the fireworks right then and there. Drew just kissed me. This is happening. Woah. I finally got my answer about us just being the best of friends. I guess he sorta digged me too. Everything that happened that night and with us was a love story that I only read in books. All these boys I talk about, not one of them turned out to be the one and somehow I got my love story with Drew. He was my best friend and now he was more than just a friend. I don’t know if you guys remember my last relationship but it was horrible and I didn’t exactly know what this was going to lead to. I mean I wasn’t exactly thinking about all of this when he kissed me but the days after I was. I didn’t know how to act. I just made out hard core with my friend whose also Mr. funny guys roommate. Holy shit what the fuck did I just get myself into.
      Oh god, the one thing that was so simple and perfect in my life was this and I somehow managed to make it complicated. Why did I have to like Drew or better yet why did Drew and Mr. Funny guy have to be roommates. I didn’t know how the crew would react to this so I didn’t tell anyone and I don’t think Drew did either and anyone that happen to see us kiss at the concert kept their mouth shut. Holy cow, what am I suppose to do now I thought to myself for days. I was so confused about how I was feeling and what happened between us I didn’t know what we were or how to act. And I knew I was going to see him sooner or later since we were all friends. I just had to act normal and NOT be awkward. That’s all don’t make things awkward Ali. Well, as the weeks went on we hung out as a group and we flirted here and there and when no one was looking he would grab me or put his arm around me. But I could tell he wanted our little whatever it was to be in secret because he was scared how Mr. funny guy would react. One night I had just about enough of this not so secret secrecy. Because at this point you would have to be stupid or blind to not know there was something going on between me and Drew. One of my friends finally opened up their mouth and asked me the big question which I was literally waiting for someone to break the ice. I told one of my guy friends one night at the bar we always went to what had been going on between me and Drew and I also told him I was sick of Drew being scared to show his affection for me because of Mr. funny guy. Like shit we already like each other there’s really no going back from here. After I spilled my guts to my friend he told me to hold on one second and so I did and that’s when he came around the corner with Drew. Oh, great. He basically was like our mediator. He was the first one that actually knew for real what was going on now and he thought it was awesome. I ended up telling Drew how I felt thanks to our friend. And from that night on there was no hiding “us” anymore. He told me that he really did care about me and he wasn’t going to let how other people feel ruin that. I was falling for this kid, of course I was. I just hoped this time I wasn’t jumping to conclusions and this was it.
      Weeks went by and everyone knew we were together unofficially and everyone loved it even Mr. funny guy. This super random romance caught everyone off guard even me. But I loved every second of it. We were just like the perfect match I’m telling you. We could have each other laughing for hours over nothing. He watched cartoons with me one of them being Frozen that’ s when I knew he was a keeper. He made me smile every day. We weren’t just in to each other, we were the best of friends which made it that much better. Every summer there is this music festival called sunfest that everyone goes too. I hadn’t gone in years but the whole crew was going so I guess I would make an exception this year. This weekend of my life I will remember forever. I had so much fun with all the people I love. We laughed, we danced, we drank heavily and enjoyed each other’s company. I remember it was the last day of sunfest and Ellie Goulding was performing and me and my girlfriends were just loving life, jumping up and down holding hands, singing into each other’s faces. I was holding drew and loving being here with him, making memories. He was part of my new chapter of my life the happy one. After Ellie performed that’s when the fireworks shot in the sky. They were beautiful, defiantely the best fireworks I had ever seen. I looked to my left and saw one of my girlfriends making out with her ex, that was going to be great in the morning to tell her. I looked to my right and all my friends were together looking up at the night sky. And that’s when Drew turned me around and asked me a question. He put his arms around me, and told me all the things he loved about me. And in that second, I knew what was coming and I wasn’t scared. “Ali, be my girlfriend.” I said yes! There we’re fireworks, not just in the sky but in my heart. For the first time in a long time, it just felt right and I never thought after all I been through I would find someone like you.
      He pulled me in as the fireworks were still shooting in the air and kissed me. In that moment I felt the kind of happiness I can’t even explain to you. He had my heart right then and there, the deal was sealed. I Ali Baker had a boyfriend, who cared for me and made me smile all the time. Who would literally do anything to make me happy. I looked up to the sky and I thanked god. He gave me something I always wanted, a happy ending. I finally got mine. This whole time I wasn’t trying to tell you about my sex life or the weird predicaments I got myself into. If you can actually comprehend what I’ve been trying to tell you guys this whole time was that just because someone knocks you down you are meant to get back up. Someone like sociopath shouldn’t have that hold on you. I was lost for so long. But drew found me and brought me back. He saved me, he really was my knight in shining armor. It took me a long time to figure this whole thing out but it clicked when Drew walked into my life. I’m living proof that one asshole doesn’t define you. I fell in love with someone this time that actually had my whole heart. I am happy. This is my story, what is yours?

   
#sorrynotsorry



Guess What you savages there is a part two and I’ve decided to let you see the prequel to it. Here it is…


   Hi, I’m back you little horn dogs that love reading about my dating life. You don’t even know the shit I got myself into this time. Like Bizarre, tragic, gross situations. I swear I’m like a walking target for bullshit. This is what I do, I have a great thing going and then boom one day I wake up and don’t want a boyfriend anymore? What is wrong with me? No, please I’m asking for someone to explain it to me. I have drew who is this great guy who reignited my light, and then one day I wake up and I don’t feel like having a boyfriend anymore? Damage and twisted are the least of my problems. Like my head wants me to throw away something good. Makes no damn sense. I ask myself am I not in love with him anymore, or did I ever really love him to begin with? Was it just lust? No I definitely had love for this guy. Then I find myself sitting in my closet for an hour eating twizzlers with these questions invading my brain trying to find answers on why am I such a weirdo. Well, long story short as you can see me and Drew didn’t work out. I know you were hoping for this chapter to be some fairytale about how we ran off into the sunset and got married on the beach and had five kids. No beach, no sunset, and god, ew no kids. Yes, my light was given back to me and four months of dating made me realize that’s all I really needed. I know it’s a bitchy thing to say but it’s true. That kid saved me and brought me back from the darkness I was surrounded by for so long. He was a gift from god, too be honest. I hated hurting him and seeing him hurt because he loved me so much but I had to do what made me happy and being in this relationship was something I had to let go of in this moment in time. Do you know what happens next? Crazy ass shit. Hook-ups, bad dates. Damon finds his way back to me. Remember super hot Damon with the tattoos? Oh I do. And unfortunately Sociopath makes a reappearance after not seeing him for two years. You’re really going to want to keep reading, especially the nervous breakdown chapter that one’s a hoot. So this is me, the real Ali, the light, happy, carefree, no baggage one. Here goes nothing?

Stay tuned for part two coming soon! 

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