Ex’s

Today I was thinking about a lot of things and one of those things was my ex’s. We all have them and they’re always going to be there in the back of our heads probably until the day we die. Each one of them leaves a little something with us. Whether it’s the great memories of getting drunk the first time, learning to do new things, or a change in our personality.

Some people when they look back on an ex that broke their heart they think that these people negatively impacted their lives. I mean yeah at the moment it fucking hurts. It hurts to be lied to, it hurts to be taking advantage of, and it hurts to be cheated on by someone you love. But instead of looking at the negative of a shitty situation, did you ever think that this shitty person changed you for the better?

Now you know what kinds of people you want in your life and what kinds of people you want far away from you. You became stronger not weaker. Instead of sitting there and looking back at the awful times just think these people were brought into your life for a reason. They were brought in to change you, shake you, break you down, and at the end of the day making you a better person.

I have had a lot of experiences with ex’s and if this was two years ago I probably would have committed manslaughter on one of them and gotten away with it. After a couple of years dealing with the pain I realized that he was the one person to come into my life and really test me. Yeah, don’t get me wrong he’s the biggest piece of shit I’ve ever met but he made me strong. He made me understand certain things I didn’t understand before. Dating him made me grow up and see that there are people out there that are not as good as you would like to think.

But there are some ex’s that when I look back they put a smile on my face. In each relationship you learn something that you take with you to the next one. And there was one that I would say got away. I was very young when we dated but I did many things for the first time with him that I will probably always remember. The things I know now I would love to hit myself for letting this great guy go. Everyone has that one that got away. And it’s always for different reasons. Mine was being too young and dumb and not realizing what was right in front of me. But I mean, how could I I was 15. He taught me a lot though. He loved me a whole lot and I thought I  was going to marry him. But things happen for a reason. When I look back and think of him I think of genuine happiness.

Then we have the the Fixers. The ones that were brought in to help fix us. Fix us from that person that broke us. And no they are not re bounds they are the people that remind us good people still exist. They make us happy and treat us the way we are suppose to be treated. And love us so hard that we never forgot what it was like to be loved. They’re the “good guys.” But they’re not meant to last unfortunately.  Instead they are there to help us grow and our heart becomes whole again because of these people. So thank you fixers, you never know how much you truly mean to us.

So as I sit here thinking about all the people that were brought into my life I’d like to think all my relationships were there to teach me. And I’m glad they were all there. Even if some were a pain in the ass I wouldn’t take back these experiences even if I could. Yeah, I made some poor choices and let people back in that were never meant to have a redo but would I really be human if I didn’t let my emotions get the best of me?

Instead of looking back and wishing people out of your life think about all the things you accomplished by having them here. Some inspired you, made you laugh, made you cry, were there with you through hard times and good times. They were never meant to be forgotten they were stepping stones to get you to the right person one day. And when that day comes, how exciting it will be!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s